Saturday, April 05, 2008

Rx: Get Hit By a Bus

Aaah, my achin' back. Aaah, my achin' neck.

Can't. Move.

This happened while I was in Algeria last year and I was whisked off to see the publisher's husband, who was a plastic surgeon, but she assured me he would fix that neck right up.

Nadir The Interpreter kicked my ankle in a preemptive "Better not say no" kick.

The Algiers stop and go traffic on poorly paved roads--bouncing around in a van--did NOTHING for my neck, but it was child's play to what awaited.

We arrived at his office where Dr. Killme told two Muslim patients to take a hike, that he had an emergency.

I gingerly laid down on the bed. Nadir was on my left side, his hand on my shoulder.

The dr. said something in Farsi, Nadir Farsied back and then I was grabbed by both hands and yanked up... not to a seated position, but yanked like you'd pull a stuck pig. 

I flopped forward and then was violently yanked back.

Nadir's suit jacket kept coming in and out of my line of vision.

I tried shouting to him, as my body was flung back and forth at breakneck speed.


Nadir gives an affirmative "Yes." Later he said "Patricia, what was I SUPPOSED to say? 'Not with your life or mine, let's make a run for it....?!'

Yes, I said. 

Anyhow, after I was pushed and shoved, kicked, shot in the heart and pummeled for good measure, I left the office and, yes, in worse shape than when I showed up. Now, instead of having shooting pain radiating down the right side of my body, I also had shooting pain radiating down the left side, too.

I guess the objective was to just scare the pain away. The idea that if you get hit upside the head, nothing like another knock to set everything right again. But I would have had better luck running out in front of a bus.

Anyhow, Nadir and I still split our sides laughing at the rag doll patricia and her Lie Like a Rug interpreter... I made it out alive and ended up getting physical therapy from an expert.

So here I am again. Similar situation. Getting the whole spectrum of treatment so that this neck and back will settle down and let me live again--physical therapy, chiropractic, ultrasound and electric therapy--so how is that I come to think that getting little jolts of electricity shot into my neck is any different than getting violently flung around? In any case, one part of my treatment is missing, and that's Nadir.


the Mater said...

Oh Patti, so sorry to hear. The experience sounded horrific - at least you can laugh about it now. Hope you're feeling better soon - stop going on the hunt with Remi.

Hanafi A. said...

Hi Patti

I wish you a good recovery, and you should take some rest, courage and good luck